A personal journal of a Prince becoming a King.

Tuesday, March 20, 2007

The King is Back.....

Over many lands and seas... I have traveled and I have returned. I had to take a break from everything that was going on. Since the beginning of my Masters program, I have been on my grind. Man, I never knew that it would take up so much time. I mean, I always have time for me, but it seems I can't even get that anymore. Well, I have decided to take a mini break to refuel my fire. A nice relaxing break will do me just fine... cause all I plan to do is sleep.

Since I knew this break was coming, I decided to break down and get an iPod. I don't know how I functioned without one. They have just made life more manageable... Since the incident! Long story short... A few months ago, my car was broken into and the radio was stolen. At first I was upset, but then again... The CD player was broke and the radio was on the blink... I wanted to rip it out myself. Either way.. It is now gone and I have my iPod to replace it. So, big ups to Apple... You have a supporter in me!

Since the beginning of the year, I have been moving from one thing to another. Staying busy and busy is what I stay. I worked on a fundraiser for a community college that I graduated from... More of that later, once I have all the pictures from that event. Less then a week after the closing of the fundraiser, I had a relapse and back in the hospital is where I ended up. My story is beginning to overlap itself... So I will try to catch you up to speed....

I last left off that there was a tumor and it needed to be removed. Because I was still in school with 3 weeks left of my sophomore year in high school, the doctors thought it was best if I waited until I was finished with school to have the surely. What was 3 weeks? I was soon to find out. The next day, after school, I decided to take a nap, exhausted by the routine of being a dedicated student only to wake up 3 hours later gasping for air. Unable to talk or hold my head upright, I somehow managed to express to my mom that there was something very wrong with this picture. She immediately rushed me to the hospital. A 10 minute trip to the hospital felt like we were in back to back traffic on the 405 frwy during rush hour. Once arriving at the hospital, I was rushed into the ER and placed on oxygen while the doctor was being paged of my arrival. I began to concentrate on my breathing and was able to catch my breath although at this time, I was not able to swallow. All the muscles in my throat began to relax and I had to resort to spitting in a cup to avoid choking. The doctor arrived and proceded to give me a an IV push of Tensilion. This drug was to give me enough strength so that I would be able to swallow and possibly take medication by mouth to reverse the trama that was about to occur. The Tensilion lasted 3 minutes and then everything came crashing down.... My left eye began to close, and I could not hold it open. Swollowing became a challenge and I was back to spitting in a cup. Then to my demise... I began gasping for air. My heart pounded through my chest as if it was trying to escape my body. My head rolled back, my eyes rolled to the back of my head. Everything went black and there was nothing but silence.... The story continues... so I will save it for another post. It may take me a while, but all in due time.

Until next time.... Long Live the King!

Tuesday, December 26, 2006

Just on my Grind.....

Merry Christmas and Happy Kwanzaa to all my blogging fam. I have been away for a while... many trial and tribulations overcame since the last time that I have blogged. My computer has been out of commission so I have not been able to blog either. I have not forgotten about My Story... it is still in the making... I hope that it may benefit someone that may be going through a similar situation. Stay tuned for more.... you think you know, but you have no idea... it just gets better and better. I would like to say that after many years of dealing with the education system... Suffering grades, changing schools, setbacks, directional changes, and occupational changes... I have finally recieved my Bachelors Degree.... and just like My Story... it doesn't stop there.... I have decided to go back to school and get my Masters. I guess you can say that I am a glutton for pain and sacrifice. I know that it is all good cause the rewards of all my hard work can never take the place of the journey that I have had to walk to get there.... but it is a start. It is said that the man that wears the crown carries the the load of many hats.... That is me all the way but I do all that with mine cocked to the side. Just got to do my thang, like a real king should! Stay tuned......

Thursday, October 12, 2006

Protecting my heart...

Dr. Saddle began talking, trying to explain what was found in the test results. To my dismay there were a lot of words used that I could not quite understand. I wasn’t a doctor, I was a 15 year old boy in high school, but there were a couple of words that he used that I would have liked for them to be the last thing that I understand. It's Growing…. Growing? Getting Bigger… Bigger?

If we get rid of it now, your symptoms may go away. What is it? It’s a tumor. Is it cancerous? No! If we don’t get it now it could cause dangerous problems down the line. It seems that you have a tumor forming on your Thymus gland. Thymus gland? I don't understand. Right now it is not that big, but it can grow bigger within a couple of months, even weeks. The tumor is growing right below your vocal cords and right above your heart. What it is doing right now is spreading to the point that if we do not take it out as soon as possible, it could infect portions of your vocal cord and they will have to be removed or worse grow big enough to attack your heart. If that was not enough, more problem lay ahead, it could wrap itself around you major artery and vein and that would create another problem in itself.

With all this information that Dr. Saddle was trying to tell me, I couldn’t help but think about what was in store for me. He said they would treat it like an open heart surgery. This is something I could not believe, why was this happening to me? He said “We will do everything that we can, to make this process easy for you to handle. Make it easy to handle? I don’t even want it? Do what you have to! I just want to be normal!

Monday, September 25, 2006

Far and few between.... How it all started!

Let's just say that things have not been working out in my favor in blogging... from computer malfunctions, weak connections, lack of motivation, or/and an occassional physical episode, there has always been something to keep at bay. I had the intention on posting a little bit of the royalty experience on my blog, but I really don't have enough space and the presentation of it all is not to my standards... Just personal preference. So I have decided with the help of a friend to just give and excerpt from my life....

For the sake of my opera, names have been changed to protect the innocent….LOL!

One day, back in the May of 1994, a day where the sun was shining, like it does most of the time in California… yeah right! This was a beginning to the end and I knew I would never be the same from that point on or at least that is what I thought. I was crossing the softball field to get to the student parking lot where I had parked my car. I noticed that it seemed just a little farther today then it had the day before, and I had to stop in the middle of the field to catch my breath. Considering that I was on the basketball and track team, and knowing that our workouts were more intense then just walking across a field, with me having to pause to regroup; I had to question, what was wrong with me? I told my mother… not knowing what to do she called the doctor and arranged for me to have a check up. At this time, I was 15 years old and was still being seen by a pediatrician… Hey, you only really need a doctor when something is wrong with you and at that point I was healthy and never really saw him for other then the common flu or cold. After being seen by my physician, there were still many questions to what was actually going on with me. None of the things that were happening to me were average things that happen to a health boy. I had weakness throughout my entire body and I found it very difficult to breath at times. My left eye slowly began to close without my personal control and it became difficult to swallow my own saliva let alone water. With the symptoms getting worse day by day and still no answers, it was decided that I would see a specialist. Dr. Saddle was a very obscure man, but he knew his stuff. He was one of the best. Under his care I had gone through many different tests to find out the cause of the problems that I was facing on a rapid continual basis. From test after test, Dr. Saddle dug into the knowledge that he knew to find out what the problem was but I was not prepared for what my test results revealed after I went through the MRI and he was sitting in front of me with the x-rays of the test in his hand.

Stay tuned for the next movement.....

Sunday, August 06, 2006

Just save it....

I already know... so you can save what you are going to say about me.... I know that I have not blogged in a while, but I have been so busy that it is sick. And when I am not working... I don't feel like blogging or know exactly what I want to say. Call it the laziness in the King. In the meantime, I joined myspace and have been working on my page. It is not exactly how I want it to look, but it will do for now.

You can check it out by going to http://www.myspace.com/caroyalty. You will find me under the name California King. For those of you with a myspace page, leave me a message or add me as a friend. I would like to know you as you get to know me as well. Have patience.... A true work of greatness can not be rushed.

Wednesday, July 19, 2006

A Moment of Reflection...

by Dale Wimbrow (1934)

When you get what you want in your struggle for self

And the world makes you king for a day.

Just go to a mirror and look at yourself

And see what that guy has to say.

For it isn't your father, or mother, or wife

Whose judgment upon you must pass;

The feller whose verdict counts most in your life

Is the guy staring back from the glass.

He's the feller to please, never mind all the rest

For he’s with you clear to the end.

And you've passed your most dangerous, difficult test

If the guy in the glass is your friend.

You may be like Jack Horner and “chisel” a plum,

And think you're a wonderful guy,

But the man in the glass says you're only a bum,

If you can't look him straight in the eye.

You can fool the whole world down the pathway of years,

And get pats on your back as you pass.

But your final reward will be heartaches and tears

If you've cheated the guy in the glass.

Take a moment to look into yourself and all that you have done. Are you trying to please other people or are you trying to please yourself? It shouldn't be that hard to answer, because it is never hard to do what you want to do. The harder part of that is understanding that others will not be so understand of your decisions. But then again, when it comes down to it, people will never know why you do the things that you do because they will never be you. You can try to walk a mile in my shoes, but can you reside in my soul. Never question the actions and feelings that you have because without them you would not be the individual, one-of-a kind, precious and powerful you.

Saturday, June 24, 2006

Unexpected Love....

Greetings once again... First I must say thanks to all my readers. I know that I a slacking off on blogging, but a kingdom can not run itself. Anyways, this blog is dedicated to my love. I never knew that it could make you feel so good. With the way that the world is going, I wondered if everyone has forgotten what it is to love or worse, be loved. I too felt like one of these people, but I see that it is all apart of living. It is interesting to see how the one thing that we have an abundance of, the thing that does not cost its weight in gold, the very thing that can save someone from giving up, is the same thing that too many people are afraid to share. Whatever happened to love.

Like a letter to Santa, did it get lost in the mail. Did the Easter Bunny hide it in an egg that could not be found? Did the tooth fairy take it from under your pillow when you were sleep? Is it at the end of a rainbow where you will find the pot of gold? It would be nice if these were the answer. At least you would know where to find it. But I have recently came to understand that love is there with you all the time because where your heart is, love is there too. Now I don't mean in gifts and expensive trips,(Who am I kidding, love is there too. LOL.. cause I love to get gifts and love to go on expensive trips) But seriously, love is in the touch of a hand, in a sincere word for the soul, daydreaming thoughts of happy moments spent and love is in the committed dedication that you can have for someone else. Love is showing just how special someone means to you. Never taking them for granted, but pushing them to the excellence that they are destined. Love is more than just a 4 letter word. Love is your life, love is your heart, and Love is your best friend.

Time for meditation and rejuvenation... A hot tub and a glass of Moscato. There is nothing better then Love...

Learn to love... you don't know what you are missing.